Kathryn Jean Lopez reprints her interview with Kathleen Parker, the author of the influential book, Save the Males: Why Men Matter. Why Women Should Care.

Parker makes some excellent points in her book about differences between boys and girls. One that I see is how much more adaptable girls are to the classroom. They are better able to stay focused, whereas boys need movement. About this, here’s Lopez’ question and Parker’s interesting response:

Lopez: What does it mean to “let men be men” and “boys be boys”?

Parker: It simply means to acknowledge that men are not women and boys are not girls. Boys and girls are hard-wired differently, which one notices as soon as the little critters become mobile. Although there are exceptions, girls can sit and focus for long periods and boys need to move around more. In fact, brain research shows that multitasking stimulates the pleasure center of women’s brains, hence 42 years of NOW. The men’s movement has been in gestation for 15 years and hasn’t begun to quicken yet. Ultimately, letting men be men means not insisting that they be our best girlfriends.

Then this fascinating exchange about the decline in fatherhood and the disturbing rise in single motherhood:

Lopez: You write that “The ultimate act of emasculation is, of course, the elimination of man’s central role as father.” Have we done that??

Parker: Absolutely. Fatherhood has been increasingly diminished the past few decades. We applaud single motherhood, celebrate sperm shopping as though searching out that perfect pair of Kate Spades and otherwise treat fathers as optional accessories. All of this has been helped by mass media messages that men are buffoons or pedophiles and by a family court system that often treats men as visitors to their children’s lives.

Lopez: How did “shame attached to unwed motherhood serve a useful purpose once upon a time”?

Parker: It kept our knees together. Importantly, it allowed girls to hang onto their innocence a little longer until they really were women. Boys, too. I mean, boys could remain innocent, not become women.